She Never Knew Page 21

  Her heart swelled with love as she stood there staring at her little boy. Earlier that evening, she had no idea who his father was. Now she knew. It just wasn’t fair. He was so innocent in all of this.

  When Kat returned downstairs, she approached her sister and gently rubbed her shoulder. “Mary?” she whispered. “Mary, wake up.”

  “Hmm?” Mary’s eyes flew open and she stared at Kat, momentarily forgetting where she was. After a few seconds, her focus returned and she smiled.

  “Late night, huh?” Yawning, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. “What time is it?”

  “Almost three.”

  “Wow, it must’ve been some—” She stopped abruptly and stared at Kat’s clothes. Her sister’s blouse was torn at the sleeve and her face was smudged with dirt.

  “Oh, my God! Kat, what did he do to you?” Mary’s jaw fell as she inspected Kat’s face. A small bruise on her forehead was already showing signs of discoloration.

  Realizing that her sister was referring to Daniel, Kat shook her head and held up a hand. “I’m fine. It wasn’t Daniel.”

  “What happened?” Mary’s expression was grave.

  “Sorry I didn’t call. There was—a lot has happened.” Kat sat on the adjoining couch and rested her elbows on her knees. She played with her hands as she looked at Mary, wondering where to begin.

  “You’re scaring me. Say something.”

  “A former student of mine tracked me down. I don’t know how he found me since I use an alias in my classroom, but he showed up at the church parking lot not long after I arrived.” She described to Mary the events of what happened and how Daniel came to her rescue.

  Mary leaned back on the couch, bewildered by what she just heard. “And you’re sure you’re all right?” She frowned with concern at the abrasion on her sister’s cheek.

  Kat nodded as she waved her hand over herself. “I’m fine, really.” Touching her cheek, she said lightly, “This is what happens when you make contact with pavement.”

  Mary looked at her warily, wondering how her sister could make jokes at a time like this. “You seem pretty calm about this. Why are you so calm?”

  Kat told her about The Lamp of the Body and how it had a soothing effect on her, how it seemed to take away her fears, and how it gave her the surge of strength she needed.

  “Thank God Daniel was there, Kat.” Mary said, slowly shaking her head. “Come to think of it, he’s always been there for you, hasn’t he?”

  “There’s more.”

  Mary lifted her eyebrows and looked expectantly at her sister. She couldn’t possibly imagine what more there could be.

  Kat took a deep breath and met her sister’s eyes. “Daniel is Tyler’s father.”

  “He’s what?” Mary’s jaw dropped. But the look on Kat’s face told her she had heard correctly. She leaned forward in bafflement, her eyes wide. “He—Daniel’s the one who was in your apartment that night?”

  Kat nodded, not saying anything. She was still having a hard time believing it herself. Mary was perplexed as to how her sister came to learn this disturbing piece of news.

  Seeing the confusion on Mary’s face, Kat explained, “The whole purpose of seeing Daniel tonight was to talk to him about our relationship. I wanted to confront him face to face about why he was avoiding me lately. I kept pressing him and before I knew it, he blurted it out.”

  Mary looked at Kat with a frown. She was alarmed for her sister’s safety as well as Tyler’s well being.

  “Have you called the police?” Mary asked.

  “No, I—I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet.” As accurately as she could, Kat relayed Daniel’s confession to Mary. She described his childhood, drug history, how he mistook her for his ex-fiancé, his road to recovery, and finally, his sorrow for the pain he had caused her.

  Kat stood up from the couch and paced the living room. She turned to her sister with determination in her eyes. “As angry as I am with him right now, a part of me feels relieved.”

  “You have answers.” Mary reasoned.

  “Yes. Yes, I do.” Kat returned to the couch, adrenaline pumping through her veins. “You should’ve seen him, Mary. He was so pitiful and remorseful that I thought he was going to have a nervous breakdown.”

  Mary studied her younger sister with renewed admiration. Kat was a woman who was very much in control. She was calm and levelheaded, and above all, the strongest person she ever knew. In her fifteen years of practice, she never met anyone who underwent multiple traumas to exude such poise as her sister did at this moment. After everything she had been through, Kat never lost her spirit. She was a woman of dignity and Mary suspected that Tyler had much to do with the person Kat became over the years.

  “Where is Daniel now?” Mary asked softly.

  “I don’t know. He was still at the church when I left.”

  “What did he say about Tyler?”

  “It never came up. I left as soon as I made the connection.” Kat eyed her sister cautiously. “I don’t think he knows for sure Tyler is his, Mary. He knows that Michael is not the biological father, but he doesn’t know that I’ve been celibate since then.”

  “He probably knows, Kat, or at the very least, he suspects he is. You told me yourself that he felt you should tell Tyler the truth about his father. There’s too much of a coincidence here if you ask me.”

  “You’re probably right.” Kat thought about it for a moment before continuing. “Do you think that was his way of trying to tell me what he did to me?”

  “It’s certainly possible. From what you’ve told me about his childhood, I can appreciate why he believes it’s wrong for you to let Tyler continue believing Michael is his father. He most likely feels that a part of his own heritage is missing, particularly since he doesn’t know who his own biological father is. This is compounded by the fact that his mother deserted him not long afterwards.”

  Kat bit her lip. “Seeing his fiancé and brother together couldn’t have helped, either. It was just another item on the list of betrayals.”

  Mary nodded. “Chances are high that he has many unresolved emotions stemming from adolescence. Feelings of loss and abandonment in regards to his biological father and rejection by his mother are all mitigating factors in the development of his identity today as an adult. Unless he’s dealt with this through counseling and his role as camp counselor doesn’t count, he will continue to be conflicted about his identity. As a result, a part of him may never have closure.”

  “So, you think that what happened to him as a child, what he did to me six years ago, and the fact that he may believe Tyler is his finally took their toll?”

  “Without actually meeting Daniel, I cannot make a diagnosis. I can only give you generalities. It is plausible to suggest that Daniel was willing to give up his freedom to see to it that another child didn’t go through what he went through, especially more so if he believes that child is biologically his.”

  Kat sat there, dumbfounded. What her sister opined made perfect sense. As deeply hurt as she felt, a part of her believed that Daniel truly wanted what was best for Tyler, and had no ulterior motives.

  “When he witnessed his fiancé and brother together, chances are the feelings of abandonment and betrayal resurfaced. In other words, he was reminded of the time when his mother deserted him during his teenage years. In a sense, history repeated itself when his fiancé left him for another man, who happened to be his brother. This cycle of abandonment can and does cause serious and irreparable psychological harm. As a result, an individual can fall prey to drug addictions or other types of compensations to fill that void, to gain a functional identity. In Daniel’s case, he was addicted to drugs. Whether that was a result of his family background or something he did to please his fiancé, I don’t know. It is important to recognize that Daniel’s confession may have been his way of trying to break that cycle of abandonment.”

  “What would happen if I reported him or if he turned himself in?” Kat aske
d.

  “He would be arrested, Kat. He would be admitting to a felony act. He would be read his Miranda rights and booked for further processing. An arraignment would follow and he would either be granted or denied bail. His case would most likely go to trial. If he’s found guilty, he would probably serve time in prison.”

  There was an eerie silence in the room as Kat tried to process this information. A part of her wanted Daniel to pay dearly for what he did, but another part of her knew he was already enduring a lifetime of suffering. After a few minutes, she turned to her sister with a pained expression. “What do you think I should do, Mary?”

  “Oh, honey.” Mary got up and sat next to her sister, wrapping an arm around her. “That’s a decision only you can make.” Mary wished she had the answers that would make everything all right but she knew Kat’s ordeal was far from over. “The fact he’s Tyler’s father should probably be a factor in your decision.”

  “I had a feeling you were going to say that.” Kat sighed, resting her head on Mary’s shoulder. She suddenly felt spent and her body was beginning to stiffen from the scuffle she had with Darryl earlier that evening.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I think so.” Kat gave a weak laugh, shaking her head. “It’s just all so surreal.” She got up from the couch and stretched.

  “Think you can manage a shower before you crawl into bed? Get cleaned up a little bit?”

  Kat realized that she and Mary would only get a few hours of sleep before Tyler got up. She didn’t want him to see her like this. “Yes, actually, a shower sounds very inviting right about now.” She reached for Mary and hugged her. “Thanks for being here for me.”

  “I’m glad I was finally able to.” Mary returned the hug. “If you need to, come wake me up again.”

  When Kat crawled into bed a half hour later, she wasn’t surprised to find that she couldn’t sleep. She lay there, digesting the events that took place earlier that evening.

  In the blink of an eye, Kat’s world had turned upside down. She had no idea what she was going to do about Daniel. If she reported him, he would be out of her life forever. It also meant that he would be out of Tyler’s life permanently. She wouldn’t have to tell her little boy someday that he was the product of rape. They could relocate and begin a new life somewhere else where she could finally put what happened to her in the past where it belonged.

  Tossing and turning, Kat knew deep down that running away was not the answer. She had been living on what-if scenarios for six years already and besides, how was that fair to Tyler? Didn’t he deserve a father, even if he was a rapist? Could she put aside her feelings of misgivings toward Daniel for the sake of Tyler? Could she ever forgive him?

  Exhausted, Kat finally slept. Her dreams were of Daniel when he was a little boy, and he was crying for his mother. He was running in a zigzag motion, looking for her. Kat tried hard to keep up with him, but her feet wouldn’t carry her fast enough. It was getting dark and she had difficulty seeing.

  “Mommy, Mommy!” he cried, tears streaming from his face. “Where are you, Mommy?” He was frightened and she was desperate to comfort him. Just when she thought she lost sight of Daniel, he abruptly stopped and turned around. He waited for her to catch up. When Kat finally reached the little boy, she realized his face longer belonged to Daniel. It belonged to Tyler.

  Chapter 35

  “Mommy, Mommy!” Tyler shook his mother urgently. When Kat jerked awake, her little boy was sitting on her bed, staring down at her with an impish grin.

  “Good morning!” Kat pulled Tyler close to her and hugged him tightly. She was startled by her dream and didn’t want Tyler to notice anything was amiss.

  When she released her son, Kat smothered his little face with kisses. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes, I did!” Tyler beamed at her. “C’mon, Mommy. It’s time to get up.” He pulled at the blankets in an effort to get his mother stirring. “Aunt Mary is awake too!”

  As Kat sat up in bed, she observed her surroundings and noted that it was just past ten o’clock. She was pleasantly surprised to feel a sense of peace within her. The events of the night before had been so profound, so surreal. But she knew she wasn’t dreaming now. She knew she had some tough decisions ahead of her.

  “Mommy, where did you get that scratch?” Tyler reached to touch his mother’s cheek.

  “Hmm?” Kat yawned, still groggy from the little sleep she had. Her heart swelled with love when she saw the look of concern on her son’s face.

  “Oh, I must’ve scratched myself.” Kat smiled, hoping Tyler wouldn’t press her for more details. She wasn’t sure what the bruise on her forehead looked like but fortunately her bangs covered it.

  “Good morning!” Mary stood at the door, fully dressed in a short-sleeved lavender cotton sweater and khaki shorts. She smiled, beckoning at Tyler. “Want to help me flip the pancakes?”

  “Oh, yes!” Tyler bounded out of bed and raced over to his aunt. She gave Kat a knowing smile to indicate that she would keep him distracted until Kat got herself dressed.

  “Good morning, Mary.” Kat looked at her sister gratefully. She was so happy to have her here, especially at a time like this when she needed her sister the most. “I’ll get dressed and join you two in a few minutes.”

  As Tyler and Mary went into the kitchen, Kat threw the covers back and winced when she felt a sharp pain in her lower back. She carefully swung her legs over the side of the bed and slid to the floor. After a slow warm-up stretch, she realized her body was just stiff and was thankful she wasn’t seriously hurt.

  In the bathroom, she focused on her forehead and saw the small bruise was showing signs of discoloration. First, she washed her face and patted her skin dry before applying a small dab of foundation. Next, she styled her hair into a ponytail, fluffing her bangs for cover. After she brushed her teeth, she removed her nightgown. Upon inspection of her legs, she saw she had several more bruises that she hadn’t noticed just a few hours earlier in the shower.

  Sighing, she selected a pair of capris from her closet. It was still too hot to be wearing jeans in August and she didn’t want to wear shorts for she didn’t want to draw attention to her injuries.

  A few minutes later, she stepped into the kitchen where she deeply inhaled the scent of fried pancakes. She realized just how hungry she was as she felt her stomach growl. Tyler was standing on his footstool, scooping pancakes out of a skillet under Mary’s supervision.

  “Mommy, look at me!” Tyler beamed as he carefully stacked a fourth pancake on a plate. Kat laughed when she saw he had pancake batter on his nose.

  “Wow! Are you going to eat all of those?”

  “Those are for you, Mommy.” Tyler’s face became serious like a chef as he began to stack more pancakes on a clean plate. “And these are for Aunt Mary.”

  “Oh my, thank you!” Kat and Mary grinned at each other, amused at the sight before them. The seriousness and care with which Tyler used warmed their hearts.

  When breakfast was over, Tyler settled himself on the floor of the living room to play with the new toys given to him by his aunt. As the sisters cleaned up the dishes, Mary asked Kat how she was feeling. They spoke quietly so Tyler would not overhear them.

  “I’m okay. I’m just—shocked, I guess. I feel as though I have more questions now than I ever did.”

  Mary nodded in agreement as she scraped the remaining pancake batter into a small plastic container. “I’m sure you do and that’s understandable. What you’ve discovered is a lot for anyone to take in.”

  Kat poured dishwashing soap in the skillet and ran hot water into it. “You know what’s odd?” She paused to look at her sister. “I don’t feel afraid anymore. I feel like I’m—what’s the word I’m looking for?”

  “In control?” Mary suggested.

  Kat nodded. “Yes, I do feel like I have control now. I don’t have to wonder anymore. I don’t have to wonder about my former student, about Daniel, and about Ty
ler’s paternity.” Her expression darkened as she began scrubbing the skillet. Mary suspected her sister was conflicted mostly about Daniel’s confession.

  As if Kat read her thoughts, she said, “I need to figure out what to do about Daniel.”

  Mary had her own view of what Kat should do with Daniel, but she refrained from sharing those thoughts as she put the container in the fridge. Instead, she suggested Kat obtain a second opinion.

  “Sweetie, would you consider talking to your pastor? You’ve mentioned before how helpful he’s been to you. Perhaps he can offer a fresh perspective on things, especially since he knows Daniel.”

  Kat turned to look at her sister. Mary held up a palm and continued. “My job is to help people. Part of helping them is to encourage them to lean on others for support and answers to questions. I’m afraid I may not be as objective as I should be.”

  “Oh, Mary.” Kat dried her hands on a towel and gave her sister a hug. “You have no idea how much your presence here has helped.”

  “Being here has helped me too, in more ways than you’ll ever realize.” Mary stroked her sister’s hair. “Would it be okay if I take Tyler to the beach for a couple of hours? It’s too hot for the park.”

  “That would be terrific. He would love that. I’ll give Pastor Cullen a call and see if he’s up for a visitor today.”

  When Kat arrived at the church, the only car in the parking lot belonged to Pastor Cullen. He was in his office waiting for her, seated at the round table, dividing stacks of folders by color.

  “Hi Kat, you’re just in time to help me organize these kits!” His eyes twinkled as he smiled at her. “Have a seat.”

  Kat let out a low whistle as she eyed the stacks of paper on the far side of the table. Sliding into a chair, she observed the folders and saw that each color group was assigned a ministry.