She Never Knew Page 23

  Michelle shared that she simply couldn’t do it anymore. No amount of counseling in the world would ever fix things, especially since her husband had tried to take someone’s life. Michelle had told Darryl that he was no longer the man she married and no longer the father Jared needed in his life. He had been a stranger to her for months now, one who was obsessed with money and power. When Darryl tried to explain that everything he did was out of love for her and their son, Michelle wouldn’t hear of it. There was just too much damage. She had to make a new life for herself and Jared and he would just have to accept responsibility for his actions.

  Shortly after Darryl was returned to his cell, he had climbed to the top of his bunk bed and dove head first to the cement floor below. A guard bringing a lunch tray found him moments later.

  Kat felt numb afterwards. She realized that Jared no longer had a father. He was only seven years old, the same age Daniel had been when he found out he was not his father’s biological son.

  People were dying because of her, it seemed. If it weren’t for her graduation ceremony, Michael and her parents would still be alive today. If William hadn’t rearranged his schedule to accommodate her, he would still be alive. If it weren’t for her, Darryl would still be alive and a family man and possibly a successful businessman. While Kat knew she had to stop with the what-if scenarios, she couldn’t help the way she felt. She knew there were other factors involved where her student was concerned, but she couldn’t help but feel responsible for his demise.

  When Kat checked her voicemail, she was surprised to hear a message from Pastor Cullen that Daniel took the initiative to meet with Dr. Sullivan. Apparently, Daniel was going to move forward with turning himself in and wanted the pastor to have power of attorney over his estate and finances. He had even set up a trust fund for Tyler to liquidate when he turned twenty-one. Pastor Cullen had agreed to the terms under one condition, that Daniel must see Dr. Sullivan first. His appointment was scheduled for the day after Kat returned home.

  The fact that Daniel had offered to turn himself in for raping her revealed much about his character to Kat. If Tyler hadn’t been born, Kat knew she wouldn’t think twice about Daniel’s fate. However, he had indirectly given her a gift, a beautiful son, albeit in the most awful way. She reflected back on the number of times he had patiently listened to her when she needed advice. He had encouraged her to meet new people so she could be happy. He had found Tyler when he ran away and brought her baby back to her. He had saved her life when Darryl came after her. And he had never lied to her. Why, oh why, did he have to be the one who raped her all those years ago?

  Kat knew that despite Daniel’s rocky childhood, he was a strong and honest man. Even if she did turn him in to the police, she firmly believed that Daniel would not take the cowardly route that Darryl had. However, that would mean Tyler would never enjoy Daniel as a father. Tyler adored him. Was that fair to their son? Was that fair to Daniel?

  As Kat inhaled the salt air and admired the ocean’s beauty, she studied the lighthouse standing in seclusion at the far end of the beach. She imagined the lonely history it had, all those years of keeping ships and sailors from harm. Her gaze slowly moved to the heavens where the sun began to reveal itself. At first, the ball of burning fire flickered, struggling to slip out from behind the clouds. When it became brighter, the light reminded her of The Lamp, and suddenly, it all became clear to Kat. God had finally given her all of the answers to the questions she had been struggling with for so long.

  She now knew deep down that sending Daniel to prison was not the answer. She knew she couldn’t deny Tyler his father. She knew Daniel had suffered all of his life, and that was punishment enough. It was time to end the pain and agony. It was time to begin the process of forgiveness.

  Chapter 37

  The trio chatted excitedly about their trip during the uneventful drive home. While they enjoyed their vacation, Kat and Tyler were glad to be home. When they entered the house, Mary went upstairs to help Tyler unpack while Kat sorted through her mail and made some phone calls.

  Her first call was to Pastor Cullen. He didn’t answer but Kat left him a message stating that she was back from vacation and that she appreciated his voice message. She asked him to return her call at his earliest convenience.

  The second call was to Dr. Sullivan. Kat didn’t expect to speak with her doctor over the phone and was surprised that her secretary answered. Usually, she had to wait for a call back.

  “Hi Ellen, it’s Kat Brennan.”

  “Hello Ms. Brennan, how are you?”

  “I’m fine, thanks for asking. I understand that Daniel Stevens has an appointment with Dr. Sullivan tomorrow afternoon. I’m calling to schedule a joint session with him in the next couple of days or so.”

  “Okay, let me take a look at the computer here.” Kat could hear the secretary typing in the background. “Is Dr. Sullivan aware that you’re interested in having a joint session?”

  “Yes, she is. We had discussed it during my last visit. She said she would call me, but I thought I would go ahead and set up an appointment anyway.” Kat didn’t know why she felt so anxious.

  “Okay, let me see what I can do here.” After a few moments on hold, Ellen came back on the line. “Ms. Brennan, I just spoke with Dr. Sullivan and she said she would prefer to wait until after she meets with Mr. Stevens. There’s some paperwork that he will need to sign that will indicate agreement of a joint session with you. Once that’s taken care of, we can proceed with making a new appointment.”

  “Oh, I see. Okay, I understand. Should I call back in a few days?”

  “Actually, I will be able to call you tomorrow when Mr. Stevens has concluded his session, provided that he signs the paperwork. Then we can schedule a time that works for both of you.”

  “That sounds great, Ellen.” Kat exhaled. “I appreciate your help.”

  “Your very welcome, Ms. Brennan. You have a good day.”

  When Kat disconnected, she dialed Rhonda’s number. When her friend answered the phone, she was happy to hear Kat’s voice.

  “Welcome home!”

  “Thanks. We just walked in about twenty minutes ago. We had a lot of fun, but it’s great to be home again.”

  “We’ve missed you. Eli’s missed Tyler something awful this week. When can I send him over?”

  Kat laughed. “How about tonight? Mary’s leaving tomorrow and I want you to meet her before she leaves. Besides, I’ve got news to share and I could really use your support.”

  “Sounds serious, Kat. Are you okay?” Kat could hear the concern in her friend’s voice and she loved her for that.

  “I’m actually better than okay, I think.” Kat swallowed hard. “It’s not something I want to discuss over the phone though, so can you come?”

  “Of course! What time?”

  “Why don’t you come over around dinnertime? We’re ordering pizza. Bring Robert with you. Tyler has a little souvenir he wants to give Eli, and the boys can play upstairs while we talk.”

  “I’ll bring dessert.”

  After Kat glanced through her mail, she went upstairs to check on Mary and Tyler. She found the two of them in the guest room. Mary was repacking her suitcase as she was leaving for New York the following morning. She had created a small pile of clothes at the edge of the bed that she wanted to launder that evening. Tyler was sitting in the middle of the bed, smiling and playing with Mary’s cosmetic bag.

  “Get settled in okay?” Mary smiled warmly at Kat, knowing her sister would soon be facing some major life changes. On the outside, Kat appeared calm, cool, and collected. However, Mary knew that on the inside, Kat was uneasy and apprehensive about her upcoming joint session with Daniel.

  Kat returned her smile and sat on the bed next to Tyler. She wrapped her arms around his little body and gave him a light squeeze. “I still need to unpack as I made a couple of phone calls. Robert and Rhonda will be joining us for dinner tonight.”

  “And Eli, too
?” Tyler shrieked. He hadn’t seen his friend in over two weeks as the Burns family had returned from their vacation the day after Kat, Mary, and Tyler went to the resort.

  “Yes, and Eli, too!” Kat and Mary laughed as Tyler began jumping on the bed. With a final plop, he slid off and ran to his room.

  “Did you tell Rhonda anything?” Mary asked, glancing at her sister.

  “No, there wasn’t time. I just mentioned that I had news to share with her. You’ll like them, Mary. I don’t know where I would be without them.”

  Mary recalled the emails Kat had sent when the sisters reunited. Kat had described her neighbors so well that Mary felt she practically knew them herself. She was thankful that Kat had such good friends to look out for her. With a twinkle in her eye, she said, “I can’t wait to meet them.”

  Two hours and three pizzas later, Tyler and Eli went upstairs while the adults hung back in the living room. They had had a good conversation going, chatting about the trips they had taken and sharing stories of the boys from when they were born. Robert and Rhonda were fascinated by Mary’s profession and admired her dedication to treating special-needs children. Mary was enthralled by the way her sister and neighbors bantered with each other. She sensed a deep closeness among them and for that, she was grateful. She knew that Robert and Rhonda played a large role in Kat’s well being. The fact that they had a son close in age to Tyler was an added bonus.

  “Okay, so tell us what the big news is.” Rhonda leaned forward towards Kat and smiled. “The suspense is killing us.”

  “Yes, stop beating around the bush. Tell us already.” Robert interjected, holding up a hand. “Let me guess, you’re getting married.”

  “No!” Kat said, almost too loudly. There was a collective hush that befell the room and suddenly Kat felt tense. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so defensive. It’s just that a lot’s happened since you guys went on vacation.”

  All eyes were on Kat. Robert had a frown on his face and Rhonda appeared worried. Mary, who was sitting next to her sister, took her hand in hers and encouraged her to go on.

  Kat quickly glanced across the room to ensure the boys weren’t playing with their Slinky toys on the staircase. When she was satisfied that they were out of earshot, she began by telling her friends how she discovered that Daniel was Tyler’s father. For the next hour, she went into detail about the night the truth came out. She explained how distant she had felt from Daniel and went to the church to talk to him. She relayed that before she was able to see Daniel, she encountered her former student in the parking lot. She described how Darryl confronted her and tried to attack her. She told them how Daniel came to her rescue and that she refused to go home afterwards. She provided details about when she pushed Daniel for an explanation as to why there seemed to be such awkwardness between them and how he reacted. She didn’t leave anything out when she illustrated Daniel’s breakdown and confession. She told them about The Lamp and how it had a profound impact on her and how it eventually helped her make a decision about forgiving Daniel.

  Robert and Rhonda sat there, dumbfounded. They never moved nor said a word the entire time Kat spoke. Silence hung over the room as Robert and Rhonda absorbed the information they had just heard.

  “The only reason I’m telling you this is because I’ve decided that Tyler needs to have his father in his life. Who am I to deny him that right? I can’t keep lying to him.”

  Kat cleared her throat. “I’m not going to turn Daniel in to the police. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and I’ve spoken with Dr. Sullivan and Pastor Cullen. They’ve given me some good advice and I’m asking you for your support.”

  “Kat, you’ll always have our support.” Robert said softly. Rhonda nodded in agreement.

  Kat paused as she peered at her friends. She really wanted them to understand where she was coming from. “The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was be objective about all of this. Easier said than done, right? At first, I was in a state of shock, of disbelief, that this could not really be happening to me. I was angry, but surprisingly, I was no longer afraid.”

  “From an objective standpoint, I have no right to deny Tyler a relationship with his father. No, he doesn’t know, and I don’t know when or how I’m going to tell him. What I’m trying to say is that based on Daniel’s childhood, his drug history, and the good things he’s done, and the fact that Tyler adores him, I sincerely believe Daniel is not a bad person. I do believe he made a very bad choice when he raped me.”

  Kat exhaled sharply before continuing. “I’ve taken into account the positive qualities Daniel has. Despite what he did, he was always there for me. He makes Tyler feel special. When he ran away, Daniel was the one who found him and brought him back to me. When I lost William, Daniel was there. He didn’t set up those situations so he could come out looking like a hero. It just happened that way. I truly believe Daniel feels remorseful for what’s he done.” Remembering the decrepit appearance of the man she saw in the sound booth, she added, “I could see it in his eyes and in his face. He was so broken, so ashamed.”

  Reaching for a tissue, Kat blew her nose. She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes. She was on the verge of crying and didn’t want to break down in front of her friends. Now was not the time to fall apart. She needed to be strong.

  “Oh, Kat. I’m so sorry.” Rhonda came around to sit next to Kat while Mary went to the kitchen to make hot tea.

  “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling. This is a lot to take in.” Rhonda felt helpless to do anything but be there for her friend.

  Kat wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Amazingly, I’ve managed to sift through some of these emotions I have and make sense of them. I had to, for Tyler’s sake. That’s another reason why I wanted you two to know about this. If Daniel is going to be a part of Tyler’s life, he’s going to be around. As often as we get together and the boys play together, are you willing to look at Daniel as Tyler’s father instead of as a man who raped me?”

  Rhonda looked at Rob, who appeared uncomfortable. “Honestly, I’m not sure.” He shook his head. “Uh, I really don’t know. I think it’s going to be very awkward and it’s going to take some serious adjusting on our part.”

  Kat nodded. “Fair enough. If you’re worried about Eli, I understand. But I don’t think you have anything to be alarmed about. Pastor Cullen told me that Daniel has decided to turn himself in and that he would rather die than do anything to upset Tyler.”

  Mary returned to the living room with a cup of herb tea. Kat took it and sipped it, grateful for the distraction. “How are you holding up?” Mary asked.

  “I’m okay. It’s just reliving this that’s hard.” Kat offered her sister a weak smile.

  Rhonda said soothingly, “Time does heal, Kat. Right now, everything is fresh for you.” She rubbed her friend’s back and glanced at her husband, who continued to sit silently, unsure of what to make of all of this.

  “You know, Robert, you were right about Daniel.”

  Robert glanced at Kat in surprise. “What do you mean?”

  “Your instincts were right on target. You knew something was off but you couldn’t put your finger on it. Remember? Daniel had gone to the bathroom and I —”

  “—Yeah, but I never dreamed that it would be something like this, Kat.” Robert almost looked ill as if he was sorry he ever brought it up in the first place.

  “I’m not blaming you. Please realize that. I just wish I had better sense sometimes.”

  Robert and Rhonda knew what Kat was referring to. They knew she was upset about the fact that she once believed she would have a future with Daniel. What he did to her went against everything she believed. No, Kat and Daniel would never have a happily-ever-after fairy tale ending.

  “You couldn’t have known, Kat.” Rhonda reassured her. “And you’re human. People fall in love, and I think that’s why it hurts so much.”

  “I’m really glad you guys are here. I’ve been blessed
to have Mary back in my life and that she extended her stay for a few more days so I could regain my bearings.” Kat studied the smiling faces she loved dearly and wondered how she got so lucky to have people who truly cared about her.

  Robert spoke first. “Kat, we will support you in any way we can. All you have to do is ask. Just know that we’re always here for you.”

  Kat got up and gave Robert a hug. It meant so much to her to know that her friends were willing to keep an open mind about Daniel, especially for Tyler’s sake. “Thank you. Thank you both.”

  Kat turned to Mary and gave her a hug as well. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you here. It was hard enough when Mom and Dad—”

  “Shhhh.” Mary hugged her sister, patting her hair and trying to comfort her. She knew Kat had some tough times ahead of her but after meeting Robert and Rhonda, she felt confident that they would help her sister through every step of the process when she returned to New York.

  For the remainder of the evening, Kat answered questions that Robert and Rhonda had. In the end, they had a better understanding of Daniel and of her decision to include him in Tyler’s life. She explained how after some serious soul searching, she was determined to put aside her anger and resentment toward Daniel. She was tired of lying to her son about who his biological father was. Before the evening ended, she swore the occupants of her living room to secrecy. The only other people who knew Daniel’s history was Pastor Cullen and Dr. Sullivan and it would remain that way forever. It had to, for Tyler’s sake.

  It was an emotional evening, but one that offered Kat much relief. She had unburdened herself among the people closest to her and as a result, never felt freer than she had in a long time. In fact, she was beginning to feel that inner sense of peace flowing throughout her body.